The best news I have ever received in my entire life.

After having an amniocentesis done, I was told it would take 10-14 days to get the results back. A week after having it done, I received a phone call saying ''Hey, we need baby daddy to come in and give us his blood (again) because Willow's blood has to be compared to it in order to know whether or not she has Cystic Fibrosis.'' And all I could think was ''Why couldn't you have told me this a week ago!?'' So poor Ethan had to go give blood yet again and we had to wait even longer. Okay, not much longer...but when you're waiting for news like that, every day that passes with no news feels like a year. I would work myself into a crying frenzy thinking about how I would feel upon receiving the news if it were bad news...but I didn't even truly think about how I would feel receiving the news if it were good...and it was.

It was Friday. January 23rd at 12:30pm. Ethan had a three day weekend that started on that day so he was home with me watching the Tudors when my phone rang. I jumped up to get it any my heart started to pound when I saw the number that was calling was the number to my geneticist. 

I answered. She said ''Heather! Guess what!? Baby DOES NOT have Cystic Fibrosis!'' and she started to ramble on about other things but I couldn't hear anything after that. My heart was singing too loudly. The phone call lasted only a few seconds and I just burst into tears and laughter at the same time and Ethan just knew. He scooped me up in his arms and I was laughing hysterically. And WAILING. I think I may have been in shock and he was just laughing with me. It wasn't the most glamorous moment, especially when you consider that Ethan went to give me a little kiss on the lips and shouted ''EW! THERE'S SNOT IN MY MOUTH.'' as he jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I'll never forget how it felt to receive the best news I have ever received in my entire life. All I could think was ''You better get used to snotty kisses.'' 

Growing up with Cystic Fibrosis for me wasn't easy. I had a feeding tube placed in my stomach when I was two because I only weighed 14 pounds. I was going through something called failure to thrive and if they didn't do something to put some weight on my bones pronto tonto, I wasn't going to have a very long life. Aside from being pancreatic insufficient, my lungs weren't the best. I had two sisters and a brother and if I said I was able to keep up with them and do everything they did growing up, I'd be lying. 

I've always been the girl with Cystic Fibrosis and I didn't want that for Willow. I didn't want someone to not chase her in a game of tag because of her ''disadvantage''. I didn't want her teachers to have to stop in the middle of a lesson to check on her because she is having a coughing fit that's so harsh she can't even catch her breath. I didn't want her to change her clothes in gym class only to be stared at by a child who has never seen a feeding tube before or even worse, picked on for it. For being sick. For something she couldn't control. I didn't want her to have the childhood that I had because of this disease. I wanted her to have a normal life. Realizing that she was going to be healthy hit me harder than the possibility that she wasn't. I had been hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I had already told myself in my head that she was going to have CF, just incase she did. Finding out that she was CF free is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Finding out that despite everything I have been through with this disease, I can still give life to someone who it will never physically touch...is amazing.

Even if Willow had Cystic Fibrosis...if she were anything like me, she would be absolutely fine because Willows bend but they don't break.

I can't believe how lucky we are...that I will have a mini me visiting me in the hospital and making art work for me to hang on the walls there to give the place some color. I can't believe that Ethan and I created this perfect little human, and I can't believe how in love with her we are already. CF or no CF, she's the best news I have ever received in my entire life.

I'm going to a CF center for the first time in over a year!

I had been so distracted lately by this pregnancy that I forgot about the fact that I still have a life threatening disease. I didn't start feeling real worry until I found myself getting out of breath doing simple tasks like picking things up off the floor or walking to other rooms in our apartment. My body isn't just my body right now, I'm sharing it with Willow. I expressed my concern to other CF moms and learned that I may have to be on oxygen during the pregnancy but I'm hoping that isn't the case.

I lost my health insurance a little over a year ago and just got it back because I am pregnant. I applied for it twice over the year and a half that I went without it and got declined twice for reasons that weren't made clear. I wouldn't have lost it in the first place, but my mother was angry with me so when something from my health insurance came in the mail that simply needed to be signed and sent off, she led me to believe that she would sign it but failed to do so. I now have health insurance and can see all kiiiiiinds of doctors if I'd like. My medicaid chose one for me by location closest to where I live so the other day, I went. I was shocked to find out that he had absolutely no idea what Cystic Fibrosis even is. CF is the most common genetic disease in Caucasians and he had no idea what it is. Several times during my appointment with him he made it a point to let me know that I ''look'' fine. Thanks, Doc. Great thing to tell someone who is fighting an invisible disease. I left his office frustrated that I had just wasted an hour for him to basically tell me he doesn't know what to tell me because he is not a pulmonary doctor. I understand that his job is to treat things as simple as the common cold, but I at least expected for him to be able to refer me to an adult Cystic Fibrosis center. I was just shocked. He said ''See you next time'' as I was walking out and I turned to my sister when we got outside and said ''Uh, there won't be a next time.'' This is my health we are talking about. I don't have time to be seen by a doctor who got all of his CF facts off of Google.

Because I did not have health insurance for over a year, that means that I have not been seen by any type of doctor. (Minus two trips I had to take to the E.R for coughing up blood) Cystic Fibrosis doctors, included. Which is very, very bad. There could be all kinds of things growing inside of my lungs that I don't even know about, but that's all about to change!

Today I called my old Cystic Fibrosis clinic and they were very pleased to hear from me. I explained my situation and they expressed deep concern and in a matter of just ten minutes, I had an appointment set up at my local adult CF center.

I'm a little sad that I will be attending a new clinic for adults as opposed to being treated at the children's clinic I was treated at ever since I was diagnosed at age 2, but being treated at a new clinic is way better than not being treated at one at all. I can't express the relief and excitement I feel that I will have a team of doctors by my side again making sure that every step is taken to ensure that I am healthy. I should have never lost that. But what is important is that I got it back. February 3rd is my first appointment and I am seriously counting down the days! The best part is that my same CF doctor will also be my primary care doctor so I won't have to worry about explaining my disease to multiple people and then hoping that the correct measures are taken, I will be in the best of hands.

I am so appreciative of my doctors at my old clinic who helped me so quickly and I'm looking forward to meeting my new ones and growing a relationship with each of them!