Monday, January 26, 2015

The best news I have ever received in my entire life.

After having an amniocentesis done, I was told it would take 10-14 days to get the results back. A week after having it done, I received a phone call saying ''Hey, we need baby daddy to come in and give us his blood (again) because Willow's blood has to be compared to it in order to know whether or not she has Cystic Fibrosis.'' And all I could think was ''Why couldn't you have told me this a week ago!?'' So poor Ethan had to go give blood yet again and we had to wait even longer. Okay, not much longer...but when you're waiting for news like that, every day that passes with no news feels like a year. I would work myself into a crying frenzy thinking about how I would feel upon receiving the news if it were bad news...but I didn't even truly think about how I would feel receiving the news if it were good...and it was.

It was Friday. January 23rd at 12:30pm. Ethan had a three day weekend that started on that day so he was home with me watching the Tudors when my phone rang. I jumped up to get it any my heart started to pound when I saw the number that was calling was the number to my geneticist. 

I answered. She said ''Heather! Guess what!? Baby DOES NOT have Cystic Fibrosis!'' and she started to ramble on about other things but I couldn't hear anything after that. My heart was singing too loudly. The phone call lasted only a few seconds and I just burst into tears and laughter at the same time and Ethan just knew. He scooped me up in his arms and I was laughing hysterically. And WAILING. I think I may have been in shock and he was just laughing with me. It wasn't the most glamorous moment, especially when you consider that Ethan went to give me a little kiss on the lips and shouted ''EW! THERE'S SNOT IN MY MOUTH.'' as he jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I'll never forget how it felt to receive the best news I have ever received in my entire life. All I could think was ''You better get used to snotty kisses.'' 

Growing up with Cystic Fibrosis for me wasn't easy. I had a feeding tube placed in my stomach when I was two because I only weighed 14 pounds. I was going through something called failure to thrive and if they didn't do something to put some weight on my bones pronto tonto, I wasn't going to have a very long life. Aside from being pancreatic insufficient, my lungs weren't the best. I had two sisters and a brother and if I said I was able to keep up with them and do everything they did growing up, I'd be lying. 

I've always been the girl with Cystic Fibrosis and I didn't want that for Willow. I didn't want someone to not chase her in a game of tag because of her ''disadvantage''. I didn't want her teachers to have to stop in the middle of a lesson to check on her because she is having a coughing fit that's so harsh she can't even catch her breath. I didn't want her to change her clothes in gym class only to be stared at by a child who has never seen a feeding tube before or even worse, picked on for it. For being sick. For something she couldn't control. I didn't want her to have the childhood that I had because of this disease. I wanted her to have a normal life. Realizing that she was going to be healthy hit me harder than the possibility that she wasn't. I had been hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. I had already told myself in my head that she was going to have CF, just incase she did. Finding out that she was CF free is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Finding out that despite everything I have been through with this disease, I can still give life to someone who it will never physically amazing.

Even if Willow had Cystic Fibrosis...if she were anything like me, she would be absolutely fine because Willows bend but they don't break.

I can't believe how lucky we are...that I will have a mini me visiting me in the hospital and making art work for me to hang on the walls there to give the place some color. I can't believe that Ethan and I created this perfect little human, and I can't believe how in love with her we are already. CF or no CF, she's the best news I have ever received in my entire life.

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